It was a cold winter night in my mid-sized, sleepy (for the time being, anyway), and bitter-cold college town. I was playing the musical version of a scratch off ticket and letting the shuffle setting run its course through my aux chord. It was at that moment that the sounds of a small percussion section and other various synthesized sounds filled my car. The first lyrics I heard were as true as the day I first heard them two years earlier. “All of my ‘Let’s just be friends’ are friends I don’t have anymore” were the words uttered by perennial hit maker Aubrey “Drake” Graham. I pondered these lyrics for a moment as I parked, not only was this lyric a top 10 for every light skinned black person ever. It solidified a theory I have had for years. Women and men can never be “just friends”.
“Just Friends” is not only a top 5 romantic comedy of all time. It’s also a not-so-subtle allegory for male and female relationships. If you haven’t seen the movie, let me summarize for you and let you hop on Netflix and fill in the gaps with a glass of Pinot Noir later. Ryan Reynolds is a hot shot Hollywood music agent who is called home to celebrate the holidays. In his hometown, he sees his best friend from High School, whom he had a crush on when he was several hundred pounds heavier and less attractive than…well…regular Ryan Reynolds is. They lost touch after a post-graduation house party where, embarrassingly, a note written in a yearbook meant for the former best friend was read aloud. He then spends the bulk of his trip attempting to once again rekindle a flame that was never there. Got it? Good. What this movie tells us is that almost any male-female relationship, is a sham, and that one party always has ulterior motives.
Are there exceptions to the rule? Sure. However, they are few and far between. You’d be hard pressed to find a female whose “best friend” at one point in her life HASN’T professed his love for her, or a guy who hasn’t purposely made the friend zone very apparent to a female whom he knows, wants more than friendship. Here’s the simple truth. Men and women, think something of someone the moment they first lay eyes on them. This first impression either leaves the door open for the possibility of a romantic relationship, or slams it the fuck shut. The door can open slightly or close at any time, but normally when it’s shut, it’s shut for good. Everyone’s door is different and this is where you’ll find the parody of men and women being friends. Someone’s door is almost always open. As long as one metaphorical door is open. There will probably be feelings, and feelings are not conducive to platonic relationships (obviously).
So, are you in this situation yourself? I suggest you do what’s best for yourself and admit that you aren’t “just friends” with this person. Respectfully cut ties and move on with someone whose door is open for you too. Again, like Drake said: “All of my ‘let’s just be friends’ are friends I don’t have anymore”.
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