It was a fateful day almost three years ago. I thought it was more like four or five but, that shows how little sense of time I have. I had been listening to a gambling podcast which I will not disclose (no free ads). That podcast got a promo code for a website in which I could place my own bets should I choose to do so. So I did, I had the perfect bet. An emotional bet for sure, but a lock nonetheless. Chiefs vs. Texans, 2016 NFL playoffs, Vegas setting the line at -3.0. For my non-gambling friends, imagine that the Texans started the game with three points, if they win outright or with those three points in hand then the Chiefs bet loses. This day, my Kansas City Chiefs put up a thirty bomb on that cheese dick JJ Watt and co. The entirety of the money I had put in was riding on this single bet (not a good idea) and I won. My money was instantly like, 1.6x what it was before and I was hooked. I’ve been gambling in waves ever since.
To explain myself and downplay what I would NOT classify as an addiction. The site I use only allows me to gamble what I put into the account. So, this allows me to not completely ruin my whole life. Since you have to gamble with the bonus the promo code, I had to place more and more bets. Eventually, sports gambling became an integral part of my life. Now, I’m known for a few things: BodyArmor Sports Drink, being a millennial dating expert despite my innate inability to be in one, and gambling on sports. Every day, you could find me uttering phrases like “FUCK, I had Lakers +3.5” or “Ahhh, looks like the Dolphins aren’t gonna cover”. I was the face of sports gambling to the people that knew me well and I encouraged them to start doing it too. To be honest, it makes me feel alive. It was something I looked forward to every day whether I was up or down money wise. That sounds like the mark of an addict but, since it has never once hurt me financially or otherwise. It has to be seen as acceptable. Imagine smoking if it had no side effects whatsoever. I’d dare to say that almost everyone would smoke, much like what I imagine the American 1960’s to be like. So no, by definition this is not an addiction and I want everyone to know, I’m fine.
That being said, this brings me to day three of no gambling whatsoever. No sports bets, no casino games, no friendly wagers, and no lottery games (which seems a bit egregious). I’m sitting here watching Sunday Night Football and I am completely disinterested. I’m a football guy, everyone knows this. I explained in my last blog that football runs my life. Now, to be completely honest now that I can’t gamble on it, I’ve lost interest. It just not as fun as sweating over if both teams are gonna score more than 59.5 points combined. Not only have I lost interest in my favorite thing in life but, I’ve lost interest in life as a whole. 87 days left, I’m kept alive right now only because of my resolve to prove the person that I bet (ironically) that I could quit gambling for three months is unrelenting. To be fair my resolve to prove people wrong is always like that. Well, I’ll probably update y’all on how this bet goes. I won’t disclose what is at stake on here. Just know that no bet can overtake the pleasure of giving someone a nice big middle finger and a fat “fuck you”.