If my kid doesn’t play sports, I may love it less…

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God I hope that my future wife isn’t reading this. If you are, I am sorry in advance but, I am just being honest here. First of all, I am a football guy through and through. I played it through (my first) college, and I was a four-ish sport player all through High School. I know, this sounds like a “humble brag”. I promise you this is going somewhere, though. My life revolves around sports, when I wasn’t playing, I was watching, when I wasn’t doing either, my first ever job was as an intern for my coach and mentor with his sports company, and today I have an unbelievable sports gambling “problem”. I didn’t have a father growing up. I found essential life lessons through the sports I played: integrity, hard work, teamwork, and accountability, to name a few. These lessons that I missed from having a father figure, I had to learn from sports. These lesson are things I not only want my kids to learn from ME, but also through sports.

Now, that being said, I have full intentions of being there for my children when it comes down to it. They can do anything that their tiny, nonexistent hearts desire. I will love those tiny, probably mostly white motherfuckers regardless. I would definitely let them do anything they want in life. Deep down, I just want them to play sports…and not just any sports. I’m sorry again, but I will not attend a damn cross country meet. Any sport you can wave at your kid, and they can wave back!? That’s not really a sport, cuzzo. The exception to the rule I just mentioned is the sport of golf. Only because I know the places golf can get you if you can not only play it, but be good at it. If my kid becomes a golf pro, that’s money in the damn bank. If it is okay at golf? Then that’s an edge in the business world.

Not so deep down, I want a boy that plays football. I mentioned earlier that I am a football guy. Hell, to this day, a hydration chart with the optimum pee color is nailed above my toilet. It was nailed in our college locker room, and I fully intend to continue my learned traditions. At least until a girl eventually tells me I’m a weird human being. My point being, the day my son (or daughter) tells me they wanna step on the gridiron would be the proudest day of my entire life. I would probably try and coach their entire team if I can. We’ll be out at 6 am every morning for field work. I don’t care if they’re 7 years old and I have them out there an hour before school. We’re running ladders in 32 degree weather. I’m creating champions, not losers. My life dream is to live in Texas. Not only because the Texas lifestyle fits hand in hand with my ideals, but because I want to be a Texas High School football dad.

So really, I’m not saying I wouldn’t love my kids. Shit, they’re my kids. Literally, my legacy. I’m just saying that I may not love them as much if I can’t go to some sort of competition they are involved in. I mean honestly, how is any parent expected to sit through a band or choir concert!? There is no way in hell that I’m sitting in the crowd to watch a middle school band play “Hot Cross Buns” terribly. I would, however watch some middle school basketball. Heck, I would be betting on the games with the other degenerate and immature fathers in the crowd. Now that’s an idea I can buy in to. Bottom line, I’m not saying I wouldn’t love my children regardless of their interests. I’m really just saying those interests better be sports (and not shitty ones).

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