In Defense of Arby’s

     We see a lot of hatred in today’s world. Between the volatile political climate and the firestorm that is social media; no one is safe. But, one fast food institution gets more hate than our president, and the “Cash me Outside” girl combined…and now I got beef. Literally. 

    Arby’s, an American institution founded in Boardman, Ohio in 1964. Is by far the most hated on fast food joint for absolutely no reason. It seems that it’s widely accepted that Arby’s is gross and causes explosive bowel movements. Where did this notion come from!? It seems that the origins of this lie in an episode of the American television staple that is “The Simpson’s” in the 1980’s the show shot directly for the head on Arby’s. Saying that no self respecting person (I implied this) would eat at Arby’s. Since then, the population has held an unwarranted grudge against the roast beef giant.

    How could a person hate this fine dining establishment!? They serve high quality beef unlike other fast food chains. It’s sliced in house every day, hot and fresh. I prefer my meat topped off with some hot melty cheese sauce, which probably has a billion grams of fat and may not come from an actual cow. But damn, it’s the only way to eat an R-Beef sandy. Then, let me point you to the curly fries. How many fast food places have perfectly seasoned curly fries? Jack in the Box? Please, that’s good for people that partake in less-than-legal (in most states, anyway) activities. That greaseball of an eatery will give you full body explosions way before my beloved Arby’s will.

     Now, I must dedicate an entire paragraph to one of the greatest inventions in short-order food history. The legendary sandwich giant known as: “The Meat Mountain”. This humongous stack of various meats will run you $10 American by itself. No fries. No drink. But this masterpiece is not for broke bois. Pony up for the combo to put a little hair on that chest. I’m not even totally sure what all meats come on this sandwich. I know for sure: roast beef, turkey, brisket, chicken tenders…there’s like six more. So many meats, I can’t even fathom it. Point is: it’s delicious.

So, for the psychos that still hate Arby’s after this article: I hope you get horsey sauce in your eyes.

-RP

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