1:41AM Saturday, September 1st, 2018
It may seem like an ordinary time, but it’s football Christmas and I’m awake with anticipation. The 6th edition of The League fantasy draft is finally here. After 4 (why the hell are there still 4?!?!) weeks of preseason cockteasing, football games that count in the win/loss column are under-weigh. College football today, which is a nice appetizer (I’m taking the over on KU wins at 2.5, also I’m taking Notre Dame over Michigan today, Clemson over Alabama in the Championship) but today is all about the fantasy draft and my plan to dominate The League this year. Many weeks of planning have provided me with the blueprint to crushing this draft, and the only thing standing in my way from a perfect 1st round is Jackub. Jackub, I swear, if you spite pick Deshaun Watson at 5th overall, I will personally make sure that I’m passive aggressive to you for at LEAST a couple days. The plan going into this draft was to acquire a top tier talent at every skill position early. I made a fantastic pick 3 years ago with Devonta Freeman, and he’s been my keeper ever since, so running back is set. Now, being in a 2 QB PPR league put me in a tough spot. At 4th overall, my options are open, but if I don’t take Watson, there’s no chance he gets back to me (through JACKUB twice) at 16th overall. So, I formulated a pre-draft trade with owner of the Midwest Mafia, Austin Buhr, who holds the 10th selection. In the exchange for his 10th pick, 4th round, and 10th round picks, I give him my 2nd, 3rd, and 6th round picks. This will allow me to take Antonio Brown at 4th overall, and Deshaun Watson at 10th overall. So my core is Watson, Freeman, and Brown. Is the price steep? Consider that most elite players are already gone via keepers (Gurley, Hunt, Wentz, David Johnson to name a few) that leaves the wide receivers key targets to leave quickly. Grabbing Brown early is key, as is securing a top 3 QB. Having Freeman is essentially my 3rd round pick. So naturally, my next best player would come in the 4th round anyway, where I now have two picks. That’s the plan going into the draft. I’m getting some sleep.
Woken up by the best Golden Retriever in the world. Just got the news that Khalil Mack went to the Bears, reaction is that Gruden is an idiot. Shocker there. Last minute deals I think may be in the works in regards to trades, a few League members are meeting at Ginger Sues for breakfast. Everyone is scrambling and excited. I’m packing my draft day bag with confidence, I’m bringing my Watson jersey, Freeman jersey, and of course my Justin Houston jersey. I also am bringing my official Sloth Sunday shirt, as I’ve planted the myth all offseason that I’m changing my team name from the Sloths to something else. Yes, The League is this serious that we have the jerseys of our best players.
First Natty cracked open by Jackub. He’s said he’s not taking Watson at 5, but we will see what happens here at noon. He’s also wearing no jersey, rocking the light purple. Disappointing honestly. Last minute draft preparations, food being organized, 70 wings are being prepared. Packard thinks Favre is the best QB ever and is wearing a David Johnson jersey, but says he’s a Bears fan. There’s a lot of yelling because that is as ridiculous as it sounds.
Huge round of applause for Kodey’s arrival, with wings and other apps in tow. The draft shall begin shortly.
Everyone randomly joins in unison on Akon’s I try so hard. It was beautiful. 25 minutes until the draft.
8th round starts, round of applause given out by Hoot for commending everyone on not reaching on Sammy Watkins. Mewmaw then immediately drafts Sammy Watkins.
We get the news that David Amerson is cut. The house goes wild.
The draft is completed. My team is as follows: Deshaun Watson, Big Ben, Ryan Tannehill, Devonta Freeman, Jay Ajaiyi, Rex Burkhead, Chris Carson, Antonio Brown, Kelvin Benjamin, Allen Hurns, Golden Tate, Kenny Golladay, T.Y. Hilton, Evan Engram, Justin Tucker, Texans D/ST
Breaking news that Jerrick McKinnon suffered a “concerning knee injury”. Max is furious, which is understandable. We’re starting a bags tournament.
Hoot and I are on a 42-4 run in bags after two games.
All good things come to an end, we finally lost. Back inside for madden and to fire up the grill. KU is a nine point favorite today!!!
Penn State is ON THE ROPES against Appalachian State!!!! WOW TOUCHDOWN MOUNTAINEERS!!!
That’s was a let down. Power nap then Michigan/Notre Dame game.
Necessary nap. Looking at my team, I crushed it I feel. Got my core, and my Bug Ben to Brown connection will be huge. Having Tate and Golladay really secures the Detroit passing game. My backs are a little skeptical, but in a PPR format, I feel Burkhead has huge upside, Freeman is solid, Chris Carson is the starter in Seattle, and Ajiayi is decent. Evan Engram at TE is solid top 5 play, and Tucker is always top 3 kicking. The key to my squad though, is Watson to Fuller. They were absolutely on fire last year, and they have chemistry. I’m looking for huge numbers from that combo.
Good lord, Kansas is STRUGGLING against the powerhouse that is Nicholls State. This is so so sad. Please, fire this clown David Beaty, cancel this season, and start over. Because, yikes. Called a timeout when the kicker missed it, of course he makes the one that counts. Overtime being forced is just flat unacceptable.
KU just lost to Nicholls State. Fire everyone. This is pathetic. I’m ashamed.
Prepping for the Outlet Slam League draft. Really going into it with the same strategy. Depending on what pick I get, I’ll be going elite RBs early.