Cuffing Season is the WORST Time to Date

     Fellas, the time is upon us. The temperature will soon be falling and with that comes the magical time commonly referred to as: “Cuffing Season”. For those who haven’t been on social media anytime within the last six years or so, is when young people leave their promiscuous, noncommittal, and possibly reckless personalities behind to spend the colder months tamed and in a relationship. Now, while it may seem that colder temperatures and a darker-more muted color to the outside landscape may seem like the perfect time to spend with a new girl you met via that new dating app everyone’s on. It’s not.

     Fall is absolutely exhausting when it comes to dating. There are so many more activities that the female population deems necessary to participate in when those leaves start dropping. For example, the hay rides. Why on God’s green earth would I enjoy a bumpy ride on the back of a truck through a made up set in the back of my local family entertainment center? I’ll pass on that one, babe. I’ll be at the batting cages hitting dingers with a 16-year-old Louisville Slugger. The pumpkin patch also begs another issue. The pictures. Whether it’s just been awhile since the girl you’re seeing has posted on Instagram to prove she is capable of finding another human that doesn’t hate her, or she just wants a picture of her and her friends together. You’re gonna be doing some work pal. Whether your behind the camera or in front of it expect at least an hour of trying to find the perfect picture that is worthy of showing her followers.

     I don’t enjoy dating to begin with. But, adding new facets to the game that is trying to get in, or being in a new relationships makes the entire experience almost unbearable. The fall means that football is back, the sun won’t pound on you at a million and a half degrees, and you’ll get the whole family together to realize why Thanksgiving is the only time you see these psychopaths you’re related to. But, it also means I’m probably going to be led around by some tiny, female, overly-energetic and enthusiastic girl named: “Maddie”.  Fall used to be one of my favorite seasons. Since I’ve come to dating age it has been nothing but a tiring, and needless stretch of time. To quote the show Shark Tank: “For that reason, I’m out”.

-RP

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